A Straight Dad Pauses To Thank The Bears

By Carl Wilson,

Bio-Father of biff wilson, Treasurer of The Bears of San Francisco

            From early December, 2002, through June. 2003, my wife, Marge, and I lived in California – first in La Jolla Colony, and then, in March, in Walnut Creek.  For two and a half years, Marge has accepted contracts around the country for her specialty as a Labor and Delivery R.N.  We decided to try to go to areas where we have children and grandchildren.  In the San Francisco Bay area, at that time I had four children and five grandchildren by my former wife.

            I had left California, in 1985, with an impending divorce and life and finances in shambles, from “failure” as a pastor and subsequent drinking and carousing problems.  My four children received very little financial or emotional support from me while I tried to rehabilitate my life.

            In my Bio, I show that the rehabilitation did take place.  Thankfully, my friendship relationship with biff remained strong.  I wanted, during our stay in California, to repair and strengthen bonds with all my children, and perhaps even forge new, permanent bonds.

            While in the San Diego area, we visited one weekend in N. California, and biff put us up at her place.  Biff and Aurelia took us out for a fine ribs dinner at a very nice place in Jack London Square.  Afterwards we visited at the headquarters for the Bears of San Francisco – the Lone Star Saloon, and got to buy some nice Bear memorabilia.  We even tried to get into sing in a Gay/Lesbian karaoke show, but we hadn’t got there early enough, and the singing list was way too long!  Biff did take us on a tour of the area.  I remember biff pointing out one bar, saying, “That’s a vanilla bar.”  When biff had to explain to us what that meant, Marge remarked, “I think I would be vanilla.”  Biff laughed, saying, “Very definitely vanilla, Marge!”

            Not that we’re that easily shocked.  Marge and I enjoy life together, and we can see through facades and masks - which brings me to my next point.

            Marge and I are both 60, and in February, 2003, Marge was diagnosed with ITP (idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura, also known as immune thrombocytopenic purpura  - an autoimmune disease).  Moving was becoming progressively difficult for us.  So biff brought along fellow Bear, Ray Tilton, to help us move into our apartment on the second floor in Walnut Creek (and biff also helped me load up our trailer when it was time to leave).  You know, Bears are really nice people!

            Biff invited Marge and I to be her guests at a function of the Imperial Court of San Francisco – where I’m glad to say there were many Bears in attendance. The evening was called “Investiture 2003 – Die Another Day” and was advertised as a “night of lust & leather.”  Michael Parsons and Snatch were formally crowned (“invested”) as the Reigning Emperor and Empress of San Francisco.  I’m extremely proud to say that biff was named (“installed”) as their Imperial Crown Prince!  Michael and Snatch’s 2003 Imperial Court was named “The Court of S&M Leather.”

  Marge and I both took lots of photos, which I’ll be posting on one of my web sites.  What a blast!  The humor was simply hilarious.  Watching biff’s friend, Emperor Michael (now our friend, as well) and Empress Snatch make their moves had us in stitches – particularly Snatch’s parodies of trying to sit “lady-like” in a long, tight, sheath gown!  [Marge worked her usual twelve-hour shift last night, so she is sleeping now.  So please forgive me for not describing the outfit properly.  She gives me guidance in that area.]  Marge oohed and ahhhed  over the work that went into the outfits.  She always makes remarks that she is jealous - that she can never get to look that good!  Not true, of course.

We have a time share at a Hyatt Resort called “Sunset Harbor,” next to the Hilton and Mallory Dock, in Key West, during Fantasy Fest most years (or the week before in others), so we have seen some fabulous outfits!  This night surmounted exponentially, I think, our visit a few years back to Finnochio’s - where I still remember the joke about an engagement ring being a Summer Diamond (“Some are diamonds; some are not!”).  The high point of the Investiture for Marge and me was to witness biff installed as Crown Prince.  What a nice honor for biff.  So many Bears have praised biff’s tireless work for the Family.  It was and is good to see biff recognized.

Another outing was a “Beverage Benefit” by the Bears of San Francisco at the Lone Star Saloon.  After getting my wrist-band for “all-you-can-drink” beer, I left Marge and biff at the bar while I wandered out back in the “smoking” area.  I had a blast, and even had a psychic reading!  Unfortunately, biff still brags about drinking Dad “under the table”  Marge and biff had to escort me out to biff’s car so I could lie down “for a while.”  An ex-Navy man, I’ll never live it down!  My excuse was that it was not the drink that got to me, but the “smoking.”  Ah, well…youth must be served!

            One last event deserves mention.  Through my service in the Viet Nam conflict, biff was able to join the American Legion.  Biff took me along as a guest to a Post dinner-meeting at the Federal Building.  At least there I didn’t let biff down!  I ate more than my share, and even got to the dessert table before any others at our table!  I was very impressed with the open and non-judgmental atmosphere in the Post.  Many of the members were Family.  I felt extemely honored that biff wanted Dad to attend.

            I wish to thank all the Bears for their warm and caring reception of Marge and me.  Several confided that the Family sees very few Bio-parents supporting them.  Marge and I are happy to not only support biff (and you), but want you to know that we feel we are part of your extended family!

            Thanks for the memories.  Your paw-prints are on our hearts.

BIO: Carl Wilson

            A former Electronics Technician in the U.S. Navy during the Viet Nam conflict, Carl Wilson graduated from Point Loma College and Asbury Theological Seminary.  Because he felt God’s call to love the unlovely and befriend the lonely, Carl thought his calling was to pastor.  He soon found, however, that reaching out to street people, or accepting people as they are, did not fit in too well in the denomination he had joined.  He hated stereotyping people, and learned he could not fit into a mold, either!

            Unfortunately, in losing a profession he tried to earn a living in ways he hated.   Moving from job to job caused financial disaster and marital discord.  Next came excessive drinking and carousing.  Finally, a twenty year marriage over, he moved to Florida – starting over.

            People did not understand, but he forced himself to work as a low-paid pizza cook for three years and went five years without drink.  He proved to himself he could discipline himself.  And good things began to happen.  He got a good job and steadily advanced.  Carl made amends with some of his children.  And he met his soul mate, Marge.  They married exactly one year later, and have been together now for eight years.  Between Marge and Carl, they have eight children (with former spouses) and sixteen grandchildren.

            Carl dabbles in writing this and that, and has fun creating personalized greeting cards for Marge, family, and friends (and would be happy to sell his work).  He would like to do free-lance writing, and he has hopes to sell a novel.

            A labor and delivery Registered Nurse, Marge became a traveler in 2002, and Carl went with her as “house husband” and “administrative assistant.”  They got assignments around the country where their grandchildren resided – Maine and California.

            And while in California in 2003, Carl and Marge were honored to be guests of his Bio-Child, biff wilson, at several events.  One event was a beverage benefit hosted by the Bears of San Francisco at the Lone Star Saloon.  Another was the “Die Another Day” Imperial Court Investiture attended by many Bears and leatherfolk, where biff was installed as Imperial Crown Prince!  Carl and Marge will always treasure the memories of their acceptance among the Gay and Lesbian Family.

            They say that their door is always open for karaoke and chatting.  BYOB, of course!

Thank you, Bob, for your help and support.  - Carl