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STRENGTH
by Sean Madigan
I just wanted to take this time to share something with all
of you that I have been thinking about since mom's visit to the hospital.
Every now and then a person is fortunate
enough to run across a truly extraordinary person, be it friend, casual encounter, a total stranger that you happen to run
into in the grocery store or wherever it may be, or just simply your mother.
I honestly believe that these people
were put on this earth for a special reason, they could spend their whole lives not knowing just what it is, and the whole
time they have been touching so many people's lives in different ways.
My mother is one of these people, she has raised
four sons and has been a great mother in law to 3 ladies, she is an incredible grandmother, and I know she will be an awesome
great grandmother. She went back and finished her schooling and bettered herself at an age were most people just say eff it,
this is as good as I will ever be. It wasn't easy for her, I am sure she was ridiculed by her peers.
My mother has
a strength that I have envied for my entire life, and always will, she has shown it to each and every one of you with her
recent battle with ITP. She is going to be fine and will be with us for a good many years to come :).
I have to admit
that I was scared as hell for the first few days, but the more I talked to mom the more at ease I felt, just in talking to
her I could hear her strength telling me all will be fine, and I know all will be fine. Mom you truly are an incredible woman
and am proud to be able to call you MOM.
Now, I have had the distinct pleasure in knowing two of these people, the
second being my wife Erica, She has a strength like my mothers. Her love for me has made me become such a better man than
I would have ever thought possible, any questions bout that one please direct to PlightofthePixie <she can't believe how
much I have changed>....<grin>. She has brought 4 beautiful children into this world and she strives to be the best
mom ever, she does a great job and I know that one day one of them will sit down in front of a computer and tell everyone
they know just how proud of their mom they are. If not all of them.
She is without a doubt the second most incredible
person I have known. And as much as I love her, Sorry baby, mom comes first....lol
3/4/2003
THE BREATH OF LIFE
By Sean Madigan
As I sit here and reflect upon the birth of my son,
I suddenly realize I have now witnessed both ends of the spectrum of life, I have witnessed watching a loved one struggle
to take his last breath, and I have now been fortunate enough to watch a loved one take his first breath.
Watching
both have been such a learning experience for me, as I am sure it would be for most people, to see one that you love pass
on to whatever is waiting for us in the great unknown was so hard to do, sitting beside him watching his body struggle for
each breath, hoping that the struggle would soon end for him and all of his pain is forever gone, it is never out of any hate
that we wish the struggle to end for a loved one, we just cant watch them continue to hurt like they do, and for that persons
sake we wish it to end quickly. I have never felt that anyone wishing this on a loved one, was in any way cruel, we as people
hate to see anything we love suffer, a family pet for instance, can bring a strong person to tears as they watch it suffering.
The gift of love is such a powerful thing to behold, and with it anything can be accomplished, any mountain can be
moved, the biggest obstacle can be cast to the side, I have witnessed a love like this, and I live it every day with my wife
and family, I am one of the fortunate ones in life to be able to experience the great love of a very kind and compassionate
woman, and the love that 5 beautiful kids can bring to a persons heart and soul, this kind of love can make the weakest the
strongest of people. It has made me stronger than I ever imagined myself capable of becoming. So much can be learned from
loving like that, people everywhere wish that they could find a love like this, and if they truly opened their hearts and
minds and their souls it could be found more easily than anyone ever imagined possible, I for one had all but given up on
love, but my heart and mind and body and soul always remained open, and then one day in walked my beautiful wife, more beautiful
than anything my eyes had ever gazed upon, and in her unselfish way, she taught me what it was to truly and honestly love
another, she gave me 3 beautiful kids whom I will always love and cherish like my own, they were born of another man, but
in my heart they will always be "my children.
My kids have also been able to teach me a great deal about love, and
about pride, and I am so very proud of each one of them, they excel in school and sports and everything that they put their
minds to, and the energy that they can put forth into loving their mother and myself is so overwhelming at times, and just
when I think, what could their mother possibly do for me that she already hasnt done, she tells me she is pregnant with my
baby, she tells me that she is glad to have my baby, and believe me, I to am very grateful to her, but I never felt like I
needed a child of my own flesh and blood, I already had 4 great children, please dont think that this means I didnt want the
baby in any way, because truth be known, I was very excited about having another child. The prospect of having a baby however
did scare me, all of my kids I have came into my life after they had already reached at least the age of two, now I have the
chance to mold a child from the start, to try and keep him on the path of good, and yes that is a scary thought. For instance,
what if for some reason I ever did anything wrong, would he always hate me? Would he ever talk to me again? Would he ever
look at me again? But after 9 months of much thought and consideration I finally came to the realization that, nothing is
ever certain, all we as parents can do is, to do the best we can and hopefully it will be good enough in each childs eyes,
I have already proven myself to be a worthy father, I have been told many times by many people that I am a good man, I just
hope that I can always maintain this "status" in all of my childrens eyes, but rest assured I could not do all of this alone
! It is the fact that my wife loves me like she does and makes me want to love her like I do. With this kind of love, I can
do anything.
Now, like I said, I have also witnessed the first breath of a loved one, it is a day I will never forget,
feelings that I will never feel again or forget for that matter. I stood there, and after 4 days the only word I can still
come up with is, I was for the first time in my life completely humbled. I know what your thinking, Sean? humbled? Yes indeed
I was, and still am with every glance of his precious face. He reminds me just how frail a life is at first, how each and
everyone of us in our family will be a "teacher" to him in one way or another, I know that he will have great teachers in
his mommy and his other siblings, he will know what it is to be loved and wanted, he will know I am certain just what kind
of rocks we have in the state of Maine, cause oh how his biggest brother loves to find and discuss rocks, and I am certain
that he will learn all about playing house and babies with his sister, and I also know that the two of them will like teaching
him to read. I am sure that his second oldest brother will be able to tell him all about cows and just what they do for us,
also he will teach him all about the many snakes in the state of Florida, his youngest brother will be able to teach him all
about dinosaurs and what kinds are what, I am going have to listen in on all of these lessons for I dont know much about any
of these. His mother will teach him the many lessons of love, and I could never have asked for a better teacher in this than
his mother, I know I will be able to teach him so much as well, and I look forward to teaching all of my kids so many things,
I love the fact that I have 5 children in whom to love, to share things with, to play with, to doctor when the time comes,
and believe me, it does come, I love being able to be there for them for whatever need be at the time, to hold them and comfort
them in times of strife.
In watching my son take his first breath and hearing his wail, I also realized that so many
people, even myself take the little things for granted most times, breath for instance, how often do we look at the vegetation
on the planet and remember that if it wasnt for them we wouldnt have air to breathe? Or how often do we pass an elderly person
in the store and think, get out of the way, or, your moving way to slow? Remember if it wasnt for our forefathers and mothers,
perhaps we wouldnt be living in a country of freedom. Or Love, how many relationships get lost and broken because one or both
take the love of another for granted? How many times do we see someone stranded and in need of help and think, someone else
will help them, I just dont have enough time? I have taken the time to help strangers, even if it is just to make them smile,
the reward of a strangers smile is more than most people care for, what kind of place would our world be if people started
helping each other instead of fighting each other? Unfortunately we will never know, too many people with too many different
ideas, too many times personalities have conflicted and war has broken out, many people have lost their lives for someone
and not really ever knowing why?
I for one am going to do what I can to try and make this world a little better place
for my children to grow up in, I am going to teach them that its ok to cry when the feeling arises, I am going to teach them
that it is ok to love truly and whole heartedly, I am hopefully going to instill in them, the belief that it is ok to hug
your parents, even after the age of 12 or 13, Myself and my kids mother are going to teach them all about what is good and
right, and hopefully they will be able to make the right choices for themselves, but as an adult I also realize that no matter
what is taught, they will still make decisions that we dont agree with, but as another great woman taught me "my mother" I
will support them in whatever path they choose to walk, I might not like it, but I will be there for each and every one of
them, so thank you mom for giving me the breath of life, I will always love and respect you, and Thank you to my beautiful
wife who has taught me so much about love and relationships, and for giving me 4 beautiful children, I will always love and
respect you as well, and I will always be so thankful and fortunate for all that you continue to do for me and our family,
Thank you to all of my children for also teaching me about love, about having fun, and thank you for letting me be here for
you. And I will gladly and proudly be here till my last breath !
Date:7/16/2002 6:51:33 PM Eastern Daylight Time
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